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Archive for the ‘just thinking aloud’ Category

Have you ever felt sick of getting up to bed- have your shower so early in the morning and drag yourself to your closet just to get ready for work?

Have you ever felt that the only person you have been cheating is your own self because no matter how hard you try- you’re trapped into something that you don’t want to do and it slowly kills you…

Have you ever felt that you’re close to breaking down because the only thing that really makes you happy and the very purpose of you living have been snatched out of time and you can hardly find a tick of light to make it burn…

Everyday- I felt sick, cheated and close to breaking down by just thinking that the only thing that I really love to do has, had and have been dished out in my own bare hands…

The smell of HOSPITAL premises for some may brought them into puking but this smell had been my appetizer, soup, main course and dessert all at the same time…sick people in and out of ward had been my avenue to reality that I have learned to live and love… for some hospital is the scariest place on earth next to morgue and cemetery but as for me- hospital became my comfort zone, my playground and my home (my second home…)

  When I think of it, Nursing was not my 1st choice after all- I can still remember the very 1st time I have laid my eyes to nursing profession- wearing my white clinical uniform, white stockings, white shoes and white cap- it was nothing but pure white. I felt terrified, there’s nothing on my head, just a question “is this the life I want to have for the rest of my life?”….I had no answer but I believe my own experience made me answer this very question…

I love the rush, the adrenalin, the unpredictable everyday situation, toxic doctors and colleagues, the difficult patient and much difficult relatives to handle…the stethoscopes, thermometers, bandages, scissors, gloves…everything! Everything that makes me “ME”…Everything that makes me WHO I AM- a NURSE. You heard me right; I love my Profession more than anything else in this world. I can’t see myself doing anything but to be in the four corners of this white house- where people laugh and cry, new lives were born, more flesh and blood were spared and lastly another chances and opportunities were relived.

All I ever wanted was to wake up 3 am in the morning- gather up my stuffs together, go for a shower and wear my favorite attire for work- nothing fancy…just me- my scrubs and my ever comfy sneakers- with my hair all tied up…no make-up, no fancy clothes, no high heels on, no Channel, Armani and not even Prada- a pair white shoes; comfy white uniform and a perfect smile will do…

and I quote…”I love my Profession more than anything else in this world. I can’t see myself doing anything but to be in the four corners of this white house- where people laugh and cry, new lives were born, more flesh and blood were spared and lastly another chances and opportunities were relived.”

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change

CHANGE is inevitable- just like what the greatest philosophers have said…there is no assurance that we will be forever happy or forever sad, forever in-love or forever heartbroken…in the end its all about making choices- we chose to be happy and we chose to be sad, we chose to be forever in-love and lastly we chose to be empty…change is not bad and it will never be a bad thing- so long as you know what to keep…

everyday people change- but that doesnt mean that each and every person you meet is no longer the person you appreciated, trusted, cared, and loved…she might change the color of her hair and he might wear a different scent but it will all be the same- the person you love years ago will always be that same person today and forever…

 

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NURSE’S CRY

 

nakakalungkot naman kung sino pa ang dapat kumikilos para masolusyonan ang napakalaking problema ng mga nurses sa pilipinas ay sila pa ngayon ang nagmamalinis na walang exploitation na nagaganap…

we need JOB that will last for years, a SALARY that can sustain our very needs, a GOVERMENT that will openly admit that they MADE A HUGE MISTAKE and they are READY to have it ALL DONE and most importantly a SYSTEM that is FAIR and JUST- WALANG PALAKASAN : LABANAN NG PANGALAN…

…we dont need a PROGRAM that will only last for 12 months!!!!that wont SOLVE ANY!

 WHERE IT ALL BEGAN?

 there is this MENTALITY that there is a higher and greater influx of nurses which resulted to OVERSUPPLY of REGISTERED NURSES (RN) and LACK of JOBS to MANY if not ALL nurses in the Philippines. in this case i truly believe these problems exist and started years ago, but these problems have and had been SENSATIONALIZED by these HOSPITALS– by which it turned out to be on their OWN ADVANTAGE– instead of HIRING NURSES they started ASKING for VOLUNTEER NURSES/NURSE TRAINEES ( irrespective of with fee or not)…i believe EACH and EVERY HOSPITAL here in the PHILIPPINES in general is understaff- 3/4 if not half of their MANPOWER they get it from volunteers and trainees

 and my QUESTION to them…

 “JUSTIFYING WHAT THEY ARE DOING, AND WE TRY TO ELIMINATE AND ISOLATE THE HELP OF VOLUNTEERS/TRAINEES CAN THEY FUNCTION WELL?” if the answer is

 YES– we can conclude that these HOSPITALS are really HELPING the nurses hone their skills…and they were just trying to ACCOMMODATE the huge number of nurses…

NO-we can conclude that YES- NURSES have and had been used by these hospitals out of their own benefit…

…this PROBLEM had been in the system over the years, and it should stop!! our government needs to address this situation seriously…

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may 14, 1978– my mom and my dad’s very date!! after 32 years, their relationship remains as blooming  and as fragrant as the cherry blossoms every sakura festival; as bright as the sun- their love never melts even if the heat of the sun was extremely burning; as strong as the hardest steel that even the great ironman cannot break; and lastly as priceless as the finest diamond that even the richest and most famous superstar would never find…that’s how i describe their love with one another, of course their love story wasnt perfect like an old and grayish cinderella story but in my own naked eyes it was nothing but pure magic.

i wish ’em all the happiness and love in the world, and above all many many more anniversaries to come…

to the BEST mama and papa to us…

to the sweetest granpa and granma to tien-tien and mj…

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! WE LOVE YOU!!

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Philippine Politics– over the years it is getting dirtier and dirtier instead of getting better and better...so disappointing! and now that National Election is fast approaching what do we expect? Our very own POLITICS looks like a pool of junks, others do think that it is some kind of entertainment…but ALL of them are claiming to be the BEST


while U.S. is making a big if not a huge jump from last year’s recession, us Filipinos are being terrorized by bunch of crablets mediocre


we are all fascinated on how United States and Japan rule and be great…we are being mesmerized by how Singapore managed to climb their way up to where they are now…but our government is doing what? busy filling their pockets millions and billions of nations funds, and if not watching how many Filipinos die of hunger and drought because their minds are being fed by one word- corruption, corruption and corruption


funny?!no its not…if i were to judge them i would say “shameful”, harsh as it is but that is the damn truth! i hate politics and i don’t give a damn on any of them but hey! I am Filipino and I am one of those over 80 million who suffer every time ONE shameless crocodile feeds himself shamelessly


how i wish they could read this, all of them!! it is disgraceful…

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may 4, 2008-sunday, me and the rest of group 44 had a case presentation. we went to medical center paranaque (MCP) lucky for us we dont need to wear our usual outfits-white clinical dress, white shoes, white stockings, white cap and everything white with matching perfect grooming…we had a fun afternoon, we didnt present like we usually do but instead we put a ‘lil skit with a lil twist of slap sticks and alot of bloopers…my MCP experience was one of my favorite duties ever!!the staffs were all fantastic plus we got a chance to feel like we really are nurses added to that I myself had an unforgetable 3day ICU experience…after our skit/case pres. around 3:30-4:00pm(i think) we had our picture taking with our CI and station4 staffs (its cool!!!)…we gave them a ‘lil present of appreciation (just to say thanks!!)…and because everybody is starving to death we went to a fastfood (chowking to be specific…)

while enjoying the great food and fantastic view outside we also enjoy chitchatting with each other…until we got into a serious discussion about being ready for commitment (i basically dont know how we end up discussing that thing!!!)because majority of us in the group are girls and he is the only guy in the circle he is so dead! hahaha but its good though because he heard the girl’s points of view (which is i dont know if thats a good or bad thing for him…but i think its a good thing!)

our discussion goes like this “your basically happy with whats going on between the two of you with no strings attached…you basically enjoy texting the person without thinking of any serious stuff… but the question is—have you ever considered the feelings of the person you’re having fun with?!?what if that person is starting to fall for you but you- your just happy and contented with what you have right now…”

that is our hanging question for him…he couldnt answer us straight to point but he answered back like this…

im enjoying and contented with what’s with us right now, i cant tell if i already like or love her right now because i dont want to make things so fast and i want to take things slow as much as i could…

but i replied-yeah you have a point, just a pinch of point…i cant say that you’re correct because the mere fact that you entertained her in the texts and i know for sure that you have been sweet on your messages so next scenario is that she might fall for you and you just made a huge problem…why? because if you dont have any intentions of courting her or perhaps having a relationship with her you dont have to be that sweet on your messages if you only want friendship…right?!? and as a result you keep her hanging…

haizzz…i hate to say this but most of us (regardless of gender) are afraid of commitment…a very good examples are artists- they are contented with having kids and not having a happy family…its enough for them to be single moms and dads not realizing that its so good and its so rewarding to have a family of your own…maybe im just still so ideal that i want everything to be just perfect for me…im not saying that perfect as to how everybody defines perfect, but perfect as to how i picture “the perfect life” for me…

a perfect life- a very settled life with a great job that can sustain my everyday needs, my mom and my dad enjoying their days doing nothing except for a great time with their grandchildren, my sisters enjoying the peak of their lives with their lifetime partners and little angels…and  of course me having my OWN FAMILY- having my husband on my side with our children running and hopping around…

i got some pictures here so its up to you to guess the person i was talking about!!

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