a lot like love

sometimes we thought we’re the one who manipulates what’s happening with our lives…we thought we’re invincible that we can make every single thing on our way not realizing that life is not always about just making things in control, but its more of “letting things be what they have to be” 

“its not because we wanted means it has to stay likewise its not because we hated something means it should be dumped or should be thrown away!” 

this is what this world is all about…making things and letting things work out….its not that im saying about FATE! but its more of allowing GOD work on his own simple ways…  

“we may not see it- but certainly GOD is working for each and every one of us”  

 

 

 

  

 a lot like LOVE-we cannot push ourselves to be in a situation where we could make things happen…

LOVE is not MAGIC but LOVE is MAGICAL   

 

let love fall upon you and whisper to you…let love work the way it has to be…sometimes love works in its simplest ways mind you “you’ll be surprise that one day it would knock unto your door no matter how many times you refuse to open it, it will persistently knock -THATS HOW LOVE WORKS! and that’s also how GOD works-that no matter how many times you close the door to him, he consistently knocks to each and everyone’s heart and he continuously gives us everything that we need- more than what we actually wanted and more that what we ever needed…     

that’s how generous OUR GOD is…that’s how god works in our lives!!!

 

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confession

“amazing-that is how Elliott Yamin describes his feelings to his girl- a single word thats from the heart that keeps it real, one word and baby this one fits you to a tee, ONE WORD all i can say is AMAZING”

each one of us have different interpretation of love…others would say that its bitter sweet, many would say that its something that you cant describe, and for few its just like eating brownies…but for me love has and needs to be with someone who is truly worth of everything. im not saying that it is a sin to love more than once, twice or thrice but make sure that it is really worth of everything…that if one day your son or you daughter will ask you about your fail/ missed realtionship you can say that ” anak, all my fail relationship are memorable and worthy of remembering but my relationship with your dad is worth of my life and is worth of my second life could ever give…

what would you do if you die not telling your feelings to the one you love?!?are you gonna regret?!?feel sorry for the wasted time?!?!

YOU SHOULD BE!! because some words are better left unsaid; some actions are better of undone; but love never expressed is something that you’ll truly regret for the rest of your life…

red rose can express love; a simple tap on shoulder means you care; a gentle touch on back means concern and a kiss on the hands means “can you be mine forever”….

I LOVE YOU not only once or twice but i love you a million times; I CARE FOR YOU not just for today and tomorrow but i care for you forever; and lastly im ASKING YOU TO BE MINEnot only for you to stay forever but for you to live in my heart till day mt life will be through…

take me to your heart and never will i leave;heal my soul and see things trough me; i take you to heaven as i sing your favorite song….let me build our castle with my bare hands;let me paint our future in my canvass; let me tell you i love you every night and day; let me kiss you and carry you in my arms always and forever- let me, just let me…

just before i die let me pour my words to you… 

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not a perfect life but a perfect love

“i need love, a kind that makes me wanna live; a kind that makes me wanna breathe; a kind that makes me feel too much…coz i need you to help me find a better way and i guess you never thought you hear me say i need love…”

some say love can only find its way to people who seek for it; perhaps it could be true but in my own perception “love knocks in every person’s heart but only few dares to open it”- maybe others were scared, few were still undecided and the rest they intend not to open and make themselves busy pumping more blood…but for others whose willingly open their door for love have already experienced how to live life…

opening yourself to someone and letting that someone be in your heart is something that nothing, nobody and no one could ever replace…love is something personal and pure and certainly it has to be real…

“love has to be a real thing-not just an illusion nor imagination, not an infatuation or for protection, assurance and belongingness…”

a love is not love if you keep forgetting the true essence of loving…a love wont be love if you keep trying to be something for someone…and a love can not be called love if you can not love unselfishly…

every song tells a story…the music speaks with the heart, the lyrics whispers to our ears, and the voice touches every soul…and thats how love works in our life…

“i love you”-speaks with our heart; “i’ll be yours forever”-whispers to our ears; and the “voice”- touches our very soul…

a true love will always have its way no matter what happen. it may be crushed a hundred times, lost for quite sometime, fall for someone we thought “the one”…but never forget thats how we find our “SOMEONE”….FAILURE doesnt always mean end but merely the beginning of something brighter and more magnificent; always EXPECT THE BEST for that is what life is offering to us…

“not a perfect life but a perfect love”

a PERFECT LOVER who can stay at night just to watch you sleep; a perfect lover who can make a rainbow out of a mud; a perfect lover who can teach you how to use chopsticks with left hand; a perfect lover who can love you by just seeing you on your “over-sized shirt and faded jeans”; a perfect lover who can say I LOVE YOU while drowning and a perfect lover who can kiss you and ask you to be his girl forever….

again not a perfect life but a PERFECT LOVE…

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i know im still standing on that bridge

“i know im still standing on that bridge”-words from julie corky (alexa vega) from the movie SLEEPOVER…

talking to her mom about being a grown-up…its a teeny-bop movie-purely fun, no drama, no serious part…but all i can say is that everytime that i’ll be sitting on the couch watch that film with my sister-it all comes down to one thing “oh! its nice,its still nice”

nice coz i feel so inlove whenever i watch the film, i love steve (sean faris) julie’s love interest, i adore their friendship, plus i was so thrilled about the whole SLEEPOVER/SCAVENGER HUNT thing but other than that- i absolutely love the part where julie talks to her mom…

i imagine or should i say i picture myself having that serious conversation with my mom, saying my thoughts about being grown-up…i know its hard, i wont generalize it but most likely a lot of teen-agers are having difficulty conversing with their parents…even i, i do have a lot of tough times talking to my parents especially with my mom…its hard when youre trying to explain your part but no matter how hard you try “its not gonna work”…

probably because of the generation gap-they are being blinded about the thing between “parent and daughter” or “anak ka lang magulang ako” because right now teen-agers are very vocal about their feelings and maybe they are not used of hearing their daughter or son explaining their part…

but now that im getting older and maturer i understand them more…as a young adult (enough of being teen) our parents just wants the best for their babies (and that’s us) that no matter what happened we will still remain their babies…

just like in the movie- julie only wants everything to come her way, not realizing that her mom only wants the best for her but as the story goes… julie realized that life is a very long journey and up to now she’s still standing on the bridge with her mom, taking every step as slowly as possible making sure that every step of the way is for good, maybe not good but for better perhaps still not enough…..but rather for the best…

we may not see it, but clearly that is what our parents do…even though we can already stand on our own feet still they have the extra foot to guide us…that only proves how much they love us yet most of the time we ignore them…i hate to say this but yeah we seldom say that we love them more than we ever do…

i hate myself because im one of those daughters who do not want to express their love and feelings…maybe i was too young back then that’s why i cant express myself but now im more mature and more open about my feelings…”thank god because i dont want to miss my chance and regret everything”

now im 20…getting older and older and after few more years i’ll be living my own life…and i know that my journey is still long, my life is yet to come- i still have nothing to be proud of and yes! im still like julie corky….

“still standing on the bridge with my parents, still having their arms around me, and im loving it”

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BOY ^_^

im the family’s “unico hijo”…not all knows that…funny isnt?!?or other people who knows me would react negatively…WHAT?!?you’re l*sb*a n!!! 

of course not!!!whew!it was just that we’re 4 girls in the family (take note my dad is the only guy is the family) and i’m his assistant or should i say “side kick”…

paps call me “boy”-not because im a man trapped in woman’s body but its more of “im fund of watching him and following him around”…thats’ why whenever there’s something wrong in our house and pap’s not around “im in charge” (naks!!) but not to the extent of super masculine thing-just the basics im still a girl though…

probably that is also the reason why i look up so much to him…for me, he is everything-cool dad, amazing father, a very great provider,excellent adviser, familia’s superman…i just LOVE HIM!

i miss those times when i was still a kid and he’ll carry me just like in “korean telenovelas” and with his full strenght he will throw me like a pillow and i’ll just laugh and giggle and feel very safe that he will be able to catch me…back in the days when he’ll be driving and i will be with his side and “i will make kulit and ask him if i can try to drive”…reminiscing the times when he is sleeping and i’ll climb up to his belly and drum it and jump like his my horse”yah digidig digidig”…

how i wish i could turn back time and just stay there for a while-have all those times with my father again where i could play with him like we always do or just watch him clean the car, wash our dog, fix the things in the garage…i miss those times,i miss those times when he’ll be shouting at the top of his voice and call me boy, i miss my father, i miss him so much…

now im all grown up and after a few years i’ll be ready to face the real world, create my own family, and settle down…

this thoughts just makes me sad that “i can never turn back time and i can never be that that same old little girl” but all i know is that i will always be his number one fan, will always be the family’s unico hijo and will always be his “BOY”…

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enough

fool to wait for the time you’ll see me;

appreciate things that i’ve done to make you happy;

at times i feel that maybe someday you’ll see things through me and make you fall in love with me…

but now…the whole me is exhausted of waiting;

hoping that one day “THAT ONE DAY” will come

now, im not looking back;

things are different now;

im not gonna wait forever,i aint gonna waste my time ;

fooling myself and make myself believe that you’ll run through my door…

time has passed by and it doesnt matter now…

im BROKEN…

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wishful thinking

sometimes it feels good to be alone, to be happy with your own life and enjoy everything with yourself-you go with your friends…watch movies with’em, have a great shopping together, gone wild and do all crazy stuffs…but wouldnt be nice to have someone very dearly whom you can spend all your day with, in a nice comfy couch doing nothing except for a great chat; matched with sodas and popcorns, mixed with a lazy ambiance yet you feel so satisfied and extremely happy…someone who can tell you-

“its ok to be NOT OK”, “im just here- i’ll take over”whew!someone who will look at you in the eye spoke to you gently and say “you’ll be safe-you will always be safe”…

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behind Caitlin

most people say that im silent, so quiet, conserve and whatever…i cant say that all of that are misconceptions, merely true but that’s not the whole me…not all people know that im just like them, but if youll ask me how will i describe myself – i can say that ” im just a girl trying to act like a REAL GROWN-UP” struggling with every obstacle that i have to surmount…its pretty tough but a part of me always say that “Im capable of doing it”…

different people;different approaches-its like you can catch someone’s attention by just doing something silly but you cant make people like you by just being silly…

all i am saying is that you have to look at the different parts of the story to see what lies beneath…sometimes the saying “first impression last” is not true …because seeing someone in first sight doesnt conclude anything, you have to look at it in a different rate!!

you may touch it but you cant feel it…you can see it but you dont know anything about it…you canlook at it but you cant imagine it…

KNOW me and NOT JUDGE me, see THROUGH me and DO NOT conclude anything about me…

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love after love

letting go is a difficult part, but moving on and mending your broken life is even worst…but it doesnt mean that you cannot get your life back, it just takes time. it doesnt matter how long or short the span of time that you need to recover, just like the old saying “you dont have to die together with your love-its not worth your life”…there will be a better love waiting for you-a love that is PURE, a love that will last FOREVER…it wont be perfect, it will NEVER be but certainly “that love is WORTH LIVING”…

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is it ok to be ok..

 

often times, i always say that im ok, everytime that someone will approach me…my response will always “ok lang ako”….just like in nursing how will you define ok…ok as what?!? ok na wala lang la akong maisagot eh; ok lang dahil ayokong malaman mo na may problema ako; ok dahil OK naman talaga ako…it is pretty confusing and even i myself dont know how to define that 2 letter WORD “ok!”whew?!-whats the real story behind that single word…i wander- lahat kaya ng gumagamit ng term na yun is may ibang naiisip at the back of their minds or im just having my own meaning of that word…well i’ll just leave that on them…and as for me i will still be puzzled with the real meaning behind the word…”OK”…

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